moving away

9

Saturday, September 19th 2015 marked a new adventure in my life: I moved away for university. Things were messy, in a jumbled emotional kind of way. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sudden rush of loneliness when I was left alone in an empty flat; no noise, no people, no nothing.

On my first day I thought things would be a lot more sociable than what they were. In all honesty, the first day was pretty shit. The handful of flatmates who had moved in stayed in their rooms with their doors shut whilst mine stayed invitingly open as I prayed somebody would come and talk to me. A few people did pop their heads around the door to introduce themselves but it wasn’t much and I felt like shit. At about 9pm a new guy turned up who seemed pretty friendly and chatty so when he asked for my help I happily obliged. But again, afterwards, he went into his room and didn’t come back out. The upside of it all was that I did get to watch the new episode of Doctor Who (which I thought was pretty good!) even if I did feel like crying every five minutes.

The next day another first year was moving in and judging by her Facebook she seemed pretty nice. In the morning I got ready and headed into the city by myself to pick up a few bits and pieces I’d forgotten to pack. Seeing all the other students out en masse with their new flatmates (it was pretty easy to spot who were students) made me feel a little down all over again. Thankfully, when the new girl did move in that afternoon she was warm and friendly and we spent a few hours talking and wandering the city. There were plans to do something with another flatmate that night but they fell through on account of everybody being exhausted. Not that I mind, I’m actually dreading going out to night clubs. If I go at all I think it will only be the once. I preferred the evening in watching The X Factor over our terrible cooking to anything a night out could offer me.

It’s now my third day in my new flat and things are easing up a little. I don’t yet feel comfortable around anybody but I’m a lot more at ease than I was when I first moved in. Every move I make fills me with dread: am I being judged; what will my flatmates think if I do this; what will they think if I don’t do this. Everything from mealtimes to what to wear to how I walk is stressful right now. I hope it disappears soon!

To end on a lighter note, though, I’ve made a little gallery with a few photos from my room. My favourite part is my book shelf with the pretty little fairy lightsβ€”it looks beautiful at dusk. And the notice board I’ve filled with family and friends makes me smile a lot.

– JESS, XO

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7 thoughts on “moving away

  1. Panda

    Ooh I hope uni gets better for you! I’m hopefully going next year but my dad wants me to get a house, not stay in halls. I’m not very good at making friends, am incredibly shy and find it difficult to go and talk to people. If you find any tips, please share them! πŸ˜›
    PS – what uni are you going to?

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    • Jessica

      thank you! I don’t really have any tips right now, but I imagine a house would be quite lonely… but if it works for you it works for you! I’m going to nottingham trent university although I haven’t actually started lectures or anything yet haha πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. drizzleandhurricanebooks

    I can absolutely relate to your post, even if I never had the experience of sharing a flat. The loneliness, all the new people around you, it’s really hard, at first. I can speak from experience, since I have some, and I hope that’ll help a bit πŸ™‚ It’s hard to open up, but after some days, you will find out people are nice and friendly, sometimes all it takes is a word, a hello, something. I’m very shy, but I overcame that, and it felt better, afterwards. And I can absolutely swear that you will find people who will prefer an X-Factor night, rather than a club night (At first, it seems crazy, but yay, it happens, and I’m sure you will find those people just like I did! :D). No one will judge you here, because you can be whoever you want to be. Everyone is different, and people will walk in and out of your life, so don’t think about them too much. Just be yourself, and people will LOVE you for that, I can promise it πŸ™‚
    And always remember that your family is within reach, and your friends, too. Watch pictures, talk on the phone, and it will make your day better already πŸ™‚
    Wow sorry, I talked a lot, well, I hope that helps a bit, and if you ever need to talk, I’m here! πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Jessica

      sorry for such a late reply! your comment made me smile so much, what a help! it’s still all weird and new and I WANT to make friends but we’ll see. I think I really need to muster up the courage to throw myself at people and see where that gets me haha. thank you for the comment<3

      Liked by 1 person

      • drizzleandhurricanebooks

        I understand, it’s always hard at first, I had a hard time fitting in and finding courage to talk to people, too. Trust yourself, it will come and you’ll find amazing people! πŸ™‚
        Anytime, if you need to talk about it! πŸ˜€

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